The definition of altruism is: the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.
In Dr. Henry Cloud’s book “Boundaries with kids”, he tells a story about a dinner party with friends Allison and Bruce. After dinner Allison disappeared upstairs, so Henry went to check on her to see if he could lend her a hand. To his amazement, he walked in to find her cleaning her 14 year old sons room. “What are you doing?” Henry asked. “ I’m cleaning up Cameron’s room” she said. “What does it look like I’m doing?” As Henry stared in shock she said “Why are you looking at me like that?”. Henry replied, “I just feel sorry for Cameron’s future wife.”
It was clear that Allison had never looked at it like that before. So many of us deal with the problem at hand rather than thinking about future implications. There is no doubt that Allison is an altruistic parent that would do anything for her son Cameron. But this is a great example of misguided altruism. Remember the Chinese proverb, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” I hope you will learn as much as I have from this simple story.